Sunday, April 16, 2023

The price of a dream

 "If money is all you can offer, here, I have much more." I felt the cold metal hit my face. The earth embraced the rest with a soft sob. "Please sir, I just need a hand full of grains, its for my children. They are dying."

The thud of the door was all I got as a reply.

Its a pity, I had faith in gold. "If only I had some gold", I had convinced my self as I traded a man's life for his gold, but, even gold failed me today. What worth does gold have, when the Gods are out in vengeance. A world cursed by the Gods, death the only answer to all our prayers.

All I could hear was their cries, the pangs of hunger, the frail bodies. I could not stand it any more. Their cries became my only source of courage as I pushed my dagger down the man's heart. I searched for grains, but only gold did I find. My eyes brightened, for gold could buy solace to hunger, but the door shut on my face told a different story.

The walls to his house were easy to climb, and slumber played a part in his demise. The bundle of joy wrapped in the nature's gift to humanity, the handful of grains. His safe was not difficult to find. With my loot close to my heart, I fled the ravaging dogs, and the gnashing guards, grudging vengeance for their fallen master. The chase was long, arduous, tiring, but victorious I emerged as the hounds lost my scent, thanks to the turbulent stream I waded.

My house was just round the corner. My body was tired, the lack of food and sleep for the past three days had taken their toll, but the joy of finding the last hand full of grain for my children fueled my spirit. I pushed on.

The lights were dead and the house was still. There was no crying. "They would have slept of hunger, they will wake to a sumptuous meal", I monologued to my self. The door I opened had a different tale. The strong stench of death welcomed me as I pried the door open. My beloved lay motionless, with a dagger to her heart and a letter in her hand.

"They stopped crying."

Those were the only words. Next to her I found the lifeless bodies of my children. They cried their way to death, and a morsel I could not spare for their last meal.

The air grew thick, and grief engulfed me in its cold blanket. Three lives I took, and the Gods took three from me. Vengeance was served that day. Gods would be happy. A tear forced its way out of me. I had failed to protect what I swore to protect.


                                                    **************************************


"How did the simulation end?" Agness was curious about the new model they had developed.

"It was the closest we could simulate a global food crisis. Good job, I see a good research paper out of this." John replied, turning the dashboard into the view.

The last line of the dashboard read: 

"[18/09/2023 13:05:40] Total Death by hunger: 1.5 Billion

[18/09/2023 13:05:41] Simulation End."

Saturday, February 4, 2023

The Cat named Envy

 Mother was always partial to Henry, with her loving caresses, kisses and hugs, and for me, I was just the sob story she would narrate along with a glass of wine.

Life was not always so dismal. I was once upon a time the center of her affection, the star of her story, that was until Henry arrived one evening, wrapped in a white loin cloth, feeble, helpless and always yapping. I remember that day, I was back home with my sitter. Cinderella was playing on TV and my sitter was chatty on her phone. The door bell rang, and my movie was cut short with the arrival of Henry, Mother and father by his side. That day I saw in their eyes that he was their new knight in the shinning armour, the hero of their story. By the sixth month after his arrival, we shifted. My entire life uprooted. My friends lost to a wows of posts and messages, which never happened. They moved on with their Uber life, while I was stuck in a farm. Just because the city air was not breathable for Henry, I had to leave behind my dreams, my friends and my life. The world revolved around him.

Life at the farm was not all that bad. It was happy at first. The slow farm life, and new faces in the local school kept me tied down for a while, but it was not the same. I missed Anie's gossip on who dated whom, or Rebecca's pompous treats at Starbucks. Down here in the countryside it was more of a 'Oh my he looked at me, I should blush' and 'I got a piglet as a pet, here, have a candy'. But who am I to complain, I was just another character in Henry's biography.

The farm life was pretty glum and boring. Nothing new to look out for, that was until I met Shein. She was an odd one. A black sheep in a school full of goats. She had an aura about herself, and I would not blame her for that, because she was actually a witch, and for the first time in over a year, I looked forward to go to school. Henry had learned to blabber nonsense, and walk around the house like a drunk monkey, not knowing when to use his legs, and when to use his hands. For every nonsensical syllable he uttered, mother and father were pretty much in awe. I bet they had their own little contest of who gets to be called out first by lord Henry. Would it be 'Mama' or 'Dada', and between all these, Shein was the only one who made sense. She could talk, she could weave stories from the thin fabric of her imagination. Most of all, we had a common dislike for babies. The gurgling, spiting and puking little soul sucking bundle of flesh.

Again its not all misery, and my light of shinning hope came that summer. Shein had read in one of her mother's infinite spell books a particular spell, which would help me get rid of my missery. A spell which would help me be the star of my life again. Be the light bearer. She was pretty confident of the spell, heck she even had cast it on her little baby sister.

The premise was very simple. Identify an animal, preferably a pig - people say the flesh is similar to a human. Cast the spell, and watch the souls switch. Once that is done, the pig goes to the slaughter house, and the human lives on with the pig's soul, enslaved and indebted to its saviour - you.

I asked Shein to do it for me. She did without questioning my intent. Henry was gone.

Mother was the first to notice. Henry had slowed down, his usual happy gurgles and the attempted word plays were now just a bunch of squeals and screeches. Dad was brought on board, and then doctors followed. "I am the bright one, look at me, love me", I hoped to yell out, but once again Lord Henry won the battle. Mother and Father doubled down on their care for Henry. Every week was a hospital week. Tests followed tests, and the doctors concluded - Autism it was. Henry may be good at something, we would never know. We would have to have patience, atleast that is what the doctors told to console mother. With this new addition I had become invisible.

This would be a turning point in many people's life. They repent for what they have done, confess, blame themselves and forever live in the shadow of guilt. It would have been the same for me, or that is what Shein told me. She tried convincing me to slaughter the piglet which we switched Henry with. The book of spells was pretty clear about the slaughter part. So we did. It was not a great experience - sneaking into the Neigil's farm, and slaughtering his pet, for whom he had treated the entire classroom with candies. Neigil was absent for a week after the incident, but at this point I did not care any more. My life would be back to normal, and compared to that, a loser kid's sorrow was nothing.

Happiness and love did return, but it was short lived. Henry was enrolled in a special program to help him learn. Mother was away with him, but I had once again become the star of my father's story. He would read me stories, kiss me good nights, and make me feel loved again. It went on for a while, as I basked in the new found affection. The attention lasted for a month, until Henry returned. I no longer had the good night kisses, or the stories to fall asleep to. Henry became the protagonist of the story once again.

Life is never fair. Darwin taught us that, and looking back at the years I spent wrapped in the straight jackets, I feel Henry didn't deserve the life either. Shein was supportive of my decision, but she no longer talks to me. I am still alone, just like that evening when Henry arrived. The only difference being, I was not caged back then, but today I am.

Friday, June 3, 2022

The Fortunes of Lohan Gray

Sundays are generally good - for the regular people at least, or that is what I keep assuring myself. Sundays for me on the other hand are a little better than natural disasters. No deaths, I promise you that, but, still bad. Today was similar, just another regular Sunday in my life. It started with a dream, the damsel singing in her lustrous voice, soothing it may seem, and I was drawn closer to it. The only difference being, the closer I drew, the voice turned more and more repulsive. The voice which had the sweetness of honey in it, had slowly and steadily transformed into the death scream of a hog. I held onto my sleep. But a human I am, I equally dislike the squeak of a dying pig. It was my landlord. The usual banter about the late rent. Soon he would be followed by my debtors, who like clockwork would shower their gracious abuses one after the other, and I like an automaton would repeat the pre-programmed words of apology and hopefulness. Next week was a tempting mistress. She was always there, only a little high maintenance, and I, a guy in debt, could never afford her. After I had endured all the abuses, and after all the hopeful lies, the day chose to end on me. The only cherry on this otherwise repulsive cake was Mike. He also like clockwork would show up every Sunday evening, and we would close the curtains on an otherwise non eventful week with a pint at Gary's. We both to our hearts content, to resume the mundane existence to repeat the lies all over again.


The week was lazy as always, Mondays had to be dragged out of the door for Tuesday to arrive, while I slogged my way around the blacksmith's furnace. Wednesdays are usually a bit cheerful, but this particular week was already cross with me. Then came the furrow of Thursday, and all I did was pound away on the red hot Iron, until it was Friday. Thank God it's a Friday, I would hear the townsfolk jeer out, but its a term lost on me. Fridays I dread. It's the day of the town market, where the fury of the townsfolk - flocking to buy the ironware, are directed at the poor work-boy. 
 
But this Friday was different.

Fate has a mysterious way of being the knight in the shining armor, and it came to me in the form of my dead aunt. I had only known of her existence, but due to a fruit basket she had always assumed that she was my favorite aunt, God rest her gracious odd soul. 
Odd one she was, broke the ties with the family, and invested all of her inheritance on a company named after a baby's gurgle. The folks put her up in an institute for the odd ones, and I happened to have a fruit basket the day we put her there. 
Her will had my name in bold. The baby's gurgle had now turned out to be on every person's tongue, and I was the sole heir to all the money that gurgle made. I could already dream of swimming in my dream damsel's lustrous voice.


Mike was the first one who came to my mind. The deed was still a day away, but a celebration was warranted. I took ol' Mike to Gary's and ordered the finest whiskey which my weekly wage could buy. For a change I was not worried about my ration money, neither the dreadful Sunday. I was going to be rich after all, and I could afford to splurge on Mike this one time.


The trance was setting in, and my mind had already built its own sand castles. Mike smiled at me, raising his shot glasses one after the other, cheering me on. I was finally happy. The drag of disaster had finally shed its weights. And I danced, I reveled in the new found joy which wealth would brings.


Was it my sloppy dance or the wealthy smirk, I am still not sure, but something did irk Brigg, the local bully.


"What are you smirking at punk!!", he closed those lines with a few expletives.


I heard Mike let out a scream, as I felt a stinging pain in my abdomen. Mike was always the dramatic one. Brigg was standing a breath away from me, his hands still clutching the penknife sticking in my guts. I felt the warm gush of blood soak my jumpers as Brigg pulled out the knife and stabbed me again. It did not miss the mark this time. My heart felt the cold tip of the blade, as it pushed its way into it. Mike was still screaming, yelling his heart out, I might say, and I slumped to the floor. 
 
At least my aunt didn't die poor.

Saturday, November 21, 2020

Can I turn back time?

Light that never fades,
Ever green like a river,
Sweet is the sleep, eternal,
Will I wake up ever?

Men sway, so did I,
God my only witness, but her smile,
The eternal price for pride,
Is my soul so wile?

Rejected by paradise,
I wander, I lust, I slay,
Touch, turns to rot,
Even love decays away?

Caught in a memory,
Intertwined, my other half,
She waits, she wails, by the
Wooden box, does it laugh?

Pearly drops, dampens,
Dry ground, drunk on the dead,
Sleep her ally, love,
Sorrow did she wed?

Death sang a lullaby,
I sang with it, a rhyme,
And as the sun fades, I ask
Can I turn back time?
 

Monday, March 23, 2020

The Resident of The Nap Room

I am usually not the kind of person to take a nap during work hours, but, today was different. Mondays were never my cup of coffee, that too after a long night of partying. I should have called in sick, but my guilt din't let me to, and here I was three hours into the day, guiltier and sleepier, trying to grab a shut eye.

I found it difficult to keep my eyes peeled, and get some work done. Instead all I got was half awake slumber, which made me even more tired than before. May be the idea of sleeping on work table was not a good idea to begin with. 'Why don't you take the rest of the day off, or go sleep somewhere else', I heard my colleague chime in from across the table, and the guilt just became my only emotion. Nap room became my next destination, and I left the table for good this time.

'There was a bed!!', I exclaimed in my head, 'Well duh, its a nap room for nothing'. I got my self comfortable on the bed, after flinging off the shoes to one side, and closing the door shut tight. Sleep was just minutes away, and soon I drifted.

My rest in the nap room was a short lived affair. I thought I heard a scream, or a cry for help, as I jolted out of my sleep. I strained my ears - in the half dazed state, to discern what the sound was. That is when I heard the knock. At first it was a soft thump, which soon turned into a loud bang. Another bang, and my eyes were wide open. It took a while for my eyes to get used to the darkness in the room. Another loud thump on the door got me scrambling up on the feet. I frantically scrambled for the light switch, and after a while of groping around in the dark I found the switch. My heart was racing by now, first, to be woken up by a scream, and then a the bang on the door. I slowly approached the door, and placed my ears flat on the wooden boards. hopping to discern what the source of the sound was. Once I was sure there was nothing to be afraid of, I cautiously twisted thee door knob. The lock clicked and the door creaked. I pulled on the door carefully.

At first I was not so sure of what I had seen, and after making sure the door really was open, I tried to feel the layer of bricks that lined the outside of the door frame, just to make sure what I saw was what I felt. It felt real, the coarse earthy texture of bricks, with the coarse sand mixed mortar. The door opened to a wall. I could feel my spirit panic, as tiny beads of sweat formed on my forehead. I closed the door back again, closed my eyes shut and opened the door again, hoping it to be an imagination of a sleep deprived mind. I held my eyes shut while I opened doors for the second time, but, the wall decided to stay where it had originally manifested itself. I tried banging and punching the wall, and in the last bit of terror, resorted to kicking. Nothing budged it, nothing moved it.

I had to keep calm, and think. 'Its just a nightmare, and it will pass', I kept repeating to myself. Once I was sure that my fear was in control, I started thinking about the ways in which I could exit the nightmare. I tried the age old technique of pinching my self awake, and once I realized that it was of no use apart from inflicting pain on my self, I scanned the room for alternate exits. My search for an exit led me to a fire extinguisher by the bed side. I found it to be a tad bit heavier than I had imagined it to be, but it served as a good hammer. The brick wall buckled under the continued blows from the fire extinguisher, first a brick loosened and slowly I could feel the entire wall shake and peal off. One brick at a time, one row at a time, and down came the entire wall falling to the ground. I was relieved to see the wall crumble. I did expect to see a glean of light, but the room, which the broken wall led to was pitch black. I existed the nap room, into the darkness, not sure of what I would encounter further, and slowly groped around in darkness. I was hopping to find an exit, a light switch, or at least a clue as to where I was. After a while of prodding around I chanced upon a handle which seemed like a door knob. I tried the handle, twisted it around a bit, but the door was as adamant as I was. I let the door be, and continued the search, moving farther away from the only light source, which peered from the broken wall of the nap room. The air around me started to get heavier and colder, and I saw that I was pretty far from the only comfort in this nightmare, the bed in the Nap room. My search for an exit in the darkness was cut short by the rattling of a chain. I decided to retreat to the nap room. As my strides became faster, the rattling of the chains became louder. My sprint gave way to a dash as I leapt towards the nap room. I could see the light peering from the crack of the wall. The hope rose in me, to find safety in the Nap room, but that hope soon gave way to despair, as I saw the hole in the wall shrinking. Each of the bricks which I had pulled out from the wall started to fly back into their place, and soon the last ray of light was blocked as I approached the wall. The last brick slid straight into its place, and I was left with nothing but pitch darkness. The rattling of the chain grew louder and suddenly it stopped. I sat cuddled on the floor against the wall, pacing my breath, and the only other sound was that of my pounding heart, I hoped the nightmare would end, and I closed my eyes, but it had a different plan. I felt cold breath against my face and I could hear a laboured breathing as nightmare breathed straight onto my face, cold and sinister. I curdled closer to my self, and my panting had turned to sobs now. Soft sobs, as I lay uncertain of what would happen, until a cold hand grasped me, a cold and tight grip.  I let out a scream, and started frantically clawing and banging on the wall just hopping the nightmare to end. The cold hands that held me dragged me away from the wall, and a despaired scream escaped my being.

The scream was still ringing in my ears, as I opened my eyes, and the familiar sight of the Nap room slowly cleared itself into my sight. 'Bloody freaking nightmare!', I sighed to my self, as my heart pounded like a blacksmith's hammer. My throat was parched dry, and the clear sign of a dehydrated sleep were abound. I decided to end the debacle at the Nap room. I collected my stuff from the room, and opened the door, which seemed locked at first, but after a little fiddling with the knob, it clicked opened.

We all have that phase in our life, where we get optimistic with nightmares, I believe, I too got optimistic with mine, and as for my spirit, it sank inside me, my heart skipped a beat and the cold perspiration found their way back onto my forehead, as I opened the door.

The red bricked wall, greeted my eyes.


Tuesday, February 25, 2020

The Singularity Theory

Excerpts from Dr Nathaniel's Journals

19 September 3001

How much would you let your ego to blind the scientist in you. How much hubris would lead to your downfall. On this day, captain Marcus, on the behalf of ESRA had asked me to accompany him, to try to save my friend and colleague, Tim. Tim was a brilliant scientist, who eventually fell victim to his own blinded pursuit of the holy grail - The Singularity. I don't blame him for his downfall, I would have wounded down the same path, if my resolve was as strong as his, but today, I stand at the other side of the mirror, bidding farewell to my friend, as he takes the plunge. My heart pains, I failed, to save his soul. I could not save him.
He along with the crew of Rocinante, lay resting in their icy graves, and I bid farewell to them.


Excerpts from Rocinante's Radio Logs.

18 September 3001

'Its a flawed theory', the words still had a ring to it. I was not a person to be bogged down by criticism, especially when I am hell bent on proving my self right. Nate seemed to be supportive of my theory, but a human he is too. He backed out from the expedition. Now its me, and my trustee Rocinante, my space shuttle, the first space ship to transcend the space and time barrier.  We rattled through the blackness of the space, with only one thought in our heads, we have to reach Xerma.

It all started with a thought experiment, which Nate was of full support, but latter had the audacity to back out from.

I dare you Dr. Nathaniel, grow a backbone, stand up against the establishment, as I did. Did you forget the success we had at Sercious? Did you forget, how we managed to prove that we could indeed teleport? But, no, you had to backstab me, leave me alone, and here I am in my pursuit of knowledge. I will prove to the world that it indeed is possible for a human to teleport, and for this I travel to Xerma. You did say that black holes are not the best vessels for teleportation, and that they just push you back in time. But how do you explain our success at Sercious, we found the rover which we shot into the Black hole at Sercious, 10 Million light years away, and that too instantaneously. I say, Dr. Nathaniel, you have your theories all muddled up, its not me, who is full of hubris, but you.
I still stand by my truth. Black Holes can be used as portals, and these portals were set up here by God for us humans to be the masters of the universe, to explore and to reach the far off ends of this unexplored expanse of darkness. Today as the world witnesses me, I will take the plunge of faith.


Witness me.


Excerpts from ESRA-Reckon Ship Radio Logs

18 September 3001

12:00:10: 'We have sighting of Rocinante, crew be advised of the approaching Black Hole gravity'

12:01:30: 'Rocinante is headed for the Event Horizon, awaiting orders to pursue.'

12:01:50: 'Crew be advised, stay course, and observe. Do not engage'

12:03:20: 'Rocinante is accelerating into the black hole. Visuals lost, relying on radio signature.

12:03:40: 'Radio signature Lost. Rocinante is Lost.'

12:03:50: 'Rocinante is officially lost into the Black Hole at Xerma'

12:04:10: 'Rocinante radio signature detected in Sector 40, Rocinante is back on the radar, Set course to sector 40'.

12:05:00: 'Nate here, its futile to pursue Rocinante, they are 40 million light years away. Nate Out'

12:05:30: 'Survivors are the priority, set course to sector 40'

12:06:00: 'Captain, you do not understand, Rocinante existed 40 million years ago, We just lost Rocinante to the Big Bang . Nate Out'

The Traveler-7: The Singularity

The Singularity is the past and the future of the universe...

The leather clad journal thus spake,

His frame shrivelled, form intact, spirit broken,
A man not from our time, floated free.

Clad in white, the first contact ours,
'Earth speaking, speak to us',
'I am lost in space, help me home'.

A gentle tug, a forceful push,
His frame broke free,
Floating like a feather, he fell,
Into the earths cradle he fell,
'Home I believe', he sighed a relief.

He spoke, a feeble cry, words heavy with solitude.

'I have been lost, I believe',
He settled a bit, comfort I think he sought.

I could see pain in his enlightened spirit,
As he searched for his world, eyes racing,
Then his gaze dropped, despair I believe.

'This is not my home', at length he spoke,
'A fool I am to believe otherwise',
'I have transcended space and time', he sighed,
'Travelled through worlds, hoping it to be mine',
'But, alas, time beat me to it yet again', he smiled.