Corner Around the Turn

Its been a long while since I have seen some life around. The trees sway no more, nor do the birds chirp. Its silent, its peaceful, but I dread this peace. It always seems like the calm before the storm. As if someone is just preparing, silent to the world, preparing for a come back, where she can get what she wants. The other kids don't bother about me, I feel lonely. I sit by the corner, playing with the teddy, humming different tunes, coloring different nails. I see other kids play, but I can't play with them. I hate it, but I have to stay away from them. I become lonely again, no sounds, nothing to play with, only silence. Sleep evades me, as if its afraid to talk to me, afraid to play with me, afraid to be my friend. I name my teddy, I buy a cat so that teddy doesn't feel alone any more. I watch the cat shred out teddy into pieces, the small puffs of cotton ball litter the ground. I am alone again, I am afraid this time. The cat is powerful, more powerful than me. I watch the cat take control over me, become the queen of my being. I am a cat now, I was a human once. I purr to get attention, to get the love I missed, to get the care I lacked. People don't like it, they call me crazy. They say I need to sleep, I need to rest my brain. I need to see the reality. My mom takes me to the doctor, he seems to be a mean guy. He wants me to throw away the cat, he wants me to leave it at a place from where it won't return. I play my tantrums. I play my cards well, the doctor obliges, asks me whether I would want a cup of hot chocolate milk. I watch him bring teddy back to life, as he sews up the cotton balls together. I like him for bringing teddy back to life, I am happy again. The cat is not happy with the new teddy, it wants me to throw it away before it does any harm. I scold the cat for being mean to teddy, I try to make them friends. The cat obliges to my request, it treats teddy with love, but the teddy is not the same teddy. He seems mean but I like him, he asks me to get rid of the cat. I don't like his tone, but I have to listen to teddy because I like it. I am scared, and I am confused, and I just don't know what to do, so I decide to flip a coin. I flip the coin, It floats along in the air, flipping through, slicing through, and finally lands back in my palm. I had to get rid of teddy or the cat, and the coin would decide their fate. It was stupid but I was helpless, and there was no one I could ask help for. I look at the coin lying in my palm, the shining metal plate which would decide the fate of the cat and the teddy. I look at the coin, I am sad for now I have to act, I go to the kitchen and get the butcher's knife. I had to shred Teddy again, or behead the cat. I come back, look at both of them once again, with love in my eye, with care in my eye. The cat purrs, rubs itself on me, teddy gives a puppy faced look. I am sad, "was I too harsh on the decision???", I ask my self. Now nothing can be helped, I have to destroy that what I have created.





And I swing the knife.