Often we might have wanted to be a person who was easy to talk to, but due to various problems like fear, low self esteem, low self confidence and may be due to our ego, we end up at the wrong side of the hedge. The reasons for low self esteem and low self confidence to exist are mainly due to the fear related to making mistakes and not being comfortable with an embarrassing situation arising due to that mistake.
I have had real embarrassing situations. Well practical goof ups and stupid mistakes. In the beginning I used to get real upset over those things and latter on I almost gave up on talking (The height people can go to cover themselves up). Well it has been a real rough ride from there on. I have been called a self centred person, selfish, and at the top of it I have also been lectured by one of the wardens at the hostel. Well he accused me of being a narcissist. Well all these people really don't know what might have happened that has made you go into your little nutshell, but as I have learned its better not to tick off people by "ignoring" them (it appears to them that you are ignoring, but in reality you are so afraid of them that you just want to disappear). Well that almost summarises a single reason for being silent and the outcomes of being silent.
So getting back to "conversation", the best thing to start a conversation is -as I have learned during my experiments- is to go ahead into the conversation without anything in your mind, or putting it another way would be, just don't think much. If the conversation has to happen, it will happen. The only thought that practically goes in the mind just before hitting a note with the other participants of the conversation is mainly "What would they think of me if I ask ..........". Wake up, smell the coffee, they are also humans. I used to do it a lot. What is the other person going to think if i all of a sudden start talking to him/her, but in these situations we forget the basic definition of human beings - "A social animal". Every one wants to talk. Its the basic human instinct. So since we are almost covered up with the first step in the conversation process we can move onto the next step.
If you know the person introductions might not be required, but if you end up not knowing a person in a group, then the best way would be to wait to be introduced by someone who knows you.. or if that doesn't happen, introduce yourself. Introduction can be accompanied by handshakes smiles acknowledgement gestures or anything else you feel comfortable with. The thing that has to be kept in mind is being comfortable being you. Relaxed body language and a comfortable smile would suffice. After the basic introductions, if you are in a group join in with their conversations suggesting points at times making a comment at times is also a good way to build up your initial confidence through the conversation.And at times when you suddenly feel that you're not able to engage in conversation with another person, it's likely that you're telling yourself a few negative things, such as worrying that you're boring, not good enough, too unimportant, intruding, wasting their time, etc. You might also be worrying about what the other person is thinking about you and this concern causes you to feel tongue-tied. Feeling self-conscious when carrying on conversation with others is not unusual but it's also not productive. Try to keep in mind that everyone has these self-doubts from time to time but that it's essential to overcome them in order to engage with fellow human beings.
Reassure yourself that the other person is not judging you. Even if they are, think "So what?" and don't give them the upper hand in your life.
Realise that there are many good ways to leap over your negative inner monologue and to fire up the conversation. It's an art which can be learned, and requires practice.
(Source: http://www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Conversation-When-You-Have-Nothing-to-Talk-About)
Since writing this big a thing was a real pain, i will continue the rest latter. I am grateful to all my friends for their inputs.
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